Monday, May 7, 2012

Working Out the Purpose of this Blog

Since beginning this blog, i have struggled with its purpose.  The inconsistencies of the posts, in terms of timing and content, reflect this struggle. Do i want to share my thoughts and lessons on life? Do i want to provide a meaningful analysis of current economic, social, political, environmental conditions? Do i want to explore systemic injustices? And regardless of what i choose to write about, who would read it anyway?

So i am attending a blog training that i hope will help me to work this stuff out. The trainer has asked that we respond to several questions. I am going to respond here to them.  We have 1 minute to respond to each.
What do i value? 
I value justice, reciprocity, integrity, honesty and directness. I value human life and the life of the earth.  I value good relationships. I value a delicious cup of coffee and the quiet conditions in which to savor its flavor. I value plant medicine....(ran out of time) 
What are the parts of myself i feel comfortable showing the world? 
I feel comfortable showing the world my confident self. The part of me that doesn't make mistakes, that always does the right thing, that always makes the appropriate decision, the part that answers questions right.  I feel most comfortable showing my serious self, one who doesn't make a lot of jokes...as we are in serious times. (ran out of time) 
What are the parts of myself that i feel uncomfortable showing the world? (1 minute)
I am uncomfortable showing the world that i make mistakes, that i feel sad sometimes, that i don't always have the answers. I feel uncomfortable revealing my insecurities, and even admitting that i have insecurities. I feel uncomfortable showing the world my feminine side...(ran out of time) 
What are the -isms that shape how you represent yourself (in any context)?
Well, i am conscious about size - how i am in my body, which is often uncomfortable. I am conscious about being a woman in particular environments...and sometimes uncomfortable. I am conscious about my coloring...(ran out of time)
I will continue to reflect on these questions and more. I will deliberately work to more clearly define the purpose of this blog so that those who choose to read it will know what to expect.

All the best.

1 comment:

  1. Ife, i loved these answers. I feel a lot of your same insecurities (boy that whole, yes I make mistakes thing is HARD!!!)--and i often feel so insecure that I dont feel comfortable showing anybody ANYthing. like--a lot of people are like, oh, you're smile/laughter is so infectious! and i'm like, you're nuts, i HATE my laugh and my smile! the first time I saw the color purple and sugg keeps trying to take celie's hands off her smile? oooh, i totally cried and completely identify with her!!!

    but i've been working REALLY hard these past few years to let go and rebuild and now i'm to the point where i can actually *accept* a compliment! and I actually have confidence that the work I do is good, that I know what I'm talking about, etc!

    yay for me!

    but...it's hard. a constant process of undoing and rebuilding with love....

    anyway, much love--
    u no who

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